What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself?

While a bogie on the first hole is nothing to write home about, at least I haven’t shot myself out of the round. By the time I get to the second
tee the jitters are gone and I’m a little more relaxed. It’s early in my round so I’m still
concentrating on playing within myself.
I’m concentrating on maintaining a positive outlook.

What you say when you talk
to yourself is so important on the golf course and in life. Much has been written on this topic. Of course the pundits encourage us to remain
positive and do everything we can to avoid thinking negatively. This is all well and good however when you’ve
had as many failures on the golf course as I've had it’s easier said
than done.

My favorite advice came from a book I read on the psychology of golf (the title escapes me). The author was advising golfers to treat themselves like they would treat a best friend.
He asked, “What would you say to your best friend if he whiffed or duck
hooked one into the woods?” While my
best friends might be the exception, most normal friends would encourage their
buddy to do better next time. This
concept makes sense to me however I see so many golfers who don’t follow
it. I hear anything but self encouragement
after a flubbed shot. I do hear comments
like - “What an idiot”, “I suck”, “I hate this game”, sprinkled with other
popular explicatives not suitable for general audiences.

In life and on the golf course this type of self talk does nothing to enhance performance. Trust me I know.

You’ve probably heard that
old golf saying, “The toughest 6 inches in golf is between your ears”. I’m here to tell you that is much more than a
cliché. Regardless of how many times
we’ve heard this, many of us continue to be hard on ourselves when we hit a bad
shot. I know I’ve done this to myself
more than I’d like to admit in golf and in business. When I’ve given a presentation and maybe left
out something really important I can hear my inner critic saying “You idiot”.

Am I the only one who has a tendency to get up in his or her own grill? It would be so much more productive if I treated myself like I’d treat my best friend and say something like – “Don’t
worry about it. You are an excellent
speaker. The presentation overall was
well received. Don’t get discouraged”.

In addition to staying
positive, I am focused on getting into some kind of rhythm as I play the second
hole. While I’m still not catching the
ball square on the clubface I scrape it around and get up and down for another
bogie. I keep reminding myself that
there are plenty of pars to be had over the next 16 holes. As I pluck my ball out of the cup, and head
for the third tee, I take a deep breath
full of wonderful golf course air. I quickly come to the realization, regardless
of my score, there’s nothing I’d rather be doing!