Say Hello to My Little Friend!

I love to read self help books. A – it’s cheaper than therapy. B – It beats watching Dr. Phil and C – I can always find a nugget or two I can apply to my life which ultimately makes it better.

Recently I picked up Wayne Dyer’s The Power of Intention and I can’t put it down. I love the concept and I believe it to be true. Dyer’s basic premise is that we get what we think about. It’s the old scarcity vs. abundance thinking. If we think there’s enough of the good stuff to go around chances are we will get some of it. If we think our resources are diminishing they will. Pretty simple to understand; it’s another challenge reprogramming our thought process.

One of my favorite issues that Dr. Wayne addresses in his book is that internal voice we all know and love. For me that voice has been anything but my best friend. To be honest that voice has been a pain in my ass for more years than I’d like to admit. If I had a dime for every time I told that voice to shut up I’d be a rich man.

What I’m learning is we can’t shut the voice off. There is no ON/OFF switch. That would be too easy. What we have to do is reprogram what the voice is saying. So what makes that so difficult? It’s called years and years of programming.

I’ll be the first to tell you I love my family and friends more than anything in this world. Always have, always will. I can’t spend enough time with them. Throughout my life I have always been easily influenced and often times I pursued a direction because I wanted to please others. That became an ingrained habit for me and a favorite chorus for my internal voice. I can hear that little PITA now – “What will your friends think?” “Your Mom will be disappointed”. “Your Dad never missed a day of work in his life, you better not call in sick”!

I’m not sure exactly when and how but gradually my internal voice started getting worse – more negative, even mean. Early in my career I made a series of decisions that my internal voice told me were stupid. I sold encyclopedias, steaks and life insurance. According to my I.V. – STUPID, STUPIDER & STUPIDEST. The rejection in all these jobs was more than I could handle and my internal voice informed me quite often that I had failed miserably at all three.

Just like most, throughout my career I experienced many highs and quite a few lows. My internal voice would not allow me to enjoy the highs too much and made certain I felt punished during my lows.

My lowest low occurred the first time I was fired. After 9 years with a rather large national restaurant chain I was dismissed from my position as Director of Marketing. For someone who had lived a charmed life up until then it was devastating. My internal voice had a field day – “You should’ve seen it coming!” How could you be so stupid?” “You are never going to find another marketing position at that level!” “You are a failure!” No matter how hard I worked to shut it off that damn voice it kept coming back for more. The Energizer Bunny was no match for The Voice!

There’s much more to share about me and my little friend but I’ll save those stories for future blogs. I will tell you that we are getting along much better these days. Believe it or not I’ve embraced the little bugger and we actually have something that resembles a loving relationship. Does the voice get out of line sometimes? Of course. Does the little pest chime in at the most inopportune times and bring to my attention the obstacles in the way of my success. Absolutely.

The difference today is I know better than to try to shut it off. I’ve actually embraced my inner voice. When it tries to butt in I politely interrupt and turn its focus to the positive. To the side where the opportunities live. To the abundant side. It’s amazing how this approach has changed my perspective!

Dr. Dyer will tell you that imagination trumps willpower every time. If you can imagine it you can achieve it and it’s difficult to imagine anything positive if your internal voice is trying to undermine your every move.

I hope sharing this slice of my life helps someone you know!